


I Hope That You, Burn

by CommonSense001



Series: Hamilton Song Fic's [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternatively titled Alexander Hamilton Commits Arson, Anger, Angst, Crying, Fire, Heavy Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, M/M, Past Infidelity, Post Hemings Pamphlet, Resentment, Song fic, Unresolved Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommonSense001/pseuds/CommonSense001
Summary: Alexander has time to reflect on what Thomas had done to him and his family.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow lookie here i'm not dead! Welp, you asked for it and I delivered, now have fun crying ya little shits! Jk, but seriously, i hope you enjoy!

The soft piano melody echoed throughout the corridors, filled with emotion that only the player of said tune could understand. It resurfaced old and worn memories that were held fondly by him.

  
But even the most fond of memories can be burned.

  
The melody stopped softly; almost fading away- the whispers from outside the door ceased- and Alexander stood up, the flickering of the fire place was the only light source he had.

  
Shadows danced on the walls, telling profound stories and replying memories that he treasured.

  
The letters.

  
The letters were another story.

 

_"I saved **every** letter you wrote me...."_

  
Alex smiled sadly, bending down to sit on the floor near the fire place. Letters sprawled on the floor around him

  
Hesitantly, he picked one up; gazing at the cursive letters that looped and swirled into beautiful poems and remarkable sentences.

  
" _From the moment I read them I knew you were **mine**..._ "

  
Alexander's hand shook in anger and sorrow.

  
" _You said you were **mine**._ "

  
Tears stung at his wide doe eyes that were once filled with love and wonder.

  
Now dull and glassy.

  
" _I **thought** you were **mine**...._ "

_  
"Do you know what Lafayette said, when we saw your first letter arrive? They said...."_ Alexander paused, his eyes looked up at the burning embers in the fire place. He recalled the sweet memory... now lost in time.

_  
"Be careful with that one love, he will do what it takes to **survive**..."_

  
Lafayette. God he hated how they were right... they were right....

  
Alex then took the letter and held it close to his chest, standing to float around the room in a mimicked dance. A sad smile appeared on his worn face as he did so.

_  
" **You** and **your** **words** flooded my senses... Your sentences left me  defenseless! You built me palaces out of paragraphs.... **you** built cathedrals..."_

  
Alex came to a stop, the letter gripped in his hand more tightly now, almost to the point of ripping. The words smudged and jumbled up, becoming indistinguishable. The sad smile disappeared.

_  
"I'm rereading the letters you wrote me- I'm searching and scanning for **answers** in every line, for some kind of **sign** , of when you were **mine**."_

  
Tears seemed to flood his eyes, spilling onto the sheet of paper before him. They seemed anger and sorrow-filled, dark ad heavy. Unlike before... they seemed happy and light- joyful.

  
Alex opened the balchony doors, stepping out into the cold, breezy night. Everything was calm. Everything was at peace. And then, only for a moment–

_**  
"The world seemed, to burn...."** _

  
He retreated back into the confined walls of his home- the letter held in his hand was now crumbled beyond the point of salvagrey. Laying forgotten on the ground.

  
" _ **Burn**_..."

  
He grabbed a handful of letters that laid forgotten on the piano, titled 'The Hemings Pamphlet' reading through passages of what Thomas had written. What he had done in their own home-

_  
"You published the letters she wrote you- you told the whole world how you brought **this** **girl** into **our** **bed**!" _ He stared at the letter as his hands trembled once more- he didn't blame the woman- he couldn't hold his heart to do that. But Thomas...- this was their home. That as were they slept. Where they–

_  
"And in clearing your name-"_ No. He balled the pamphlet into a ball of hatred and resentment.

_  
"-you have **ruined** our lives!" _ He clutched the letter to his heart, then tossed it in the flames, watching it shrivel up before continuing on.

_  
"Do you know what Laf and the Kids said? When they read what you'd **done**?" _ he paused, their silhouettes seemed to appear behind a figment of Thomas. All speaking in unison.

_  
"They said: —"_

**_  
"You've married an icarus. He has flown to close to the sun." _ **

  
He flinched when he saw they all disappeared, leaving him with the many letters once more.

_  
"You and your words- **obsessed** with your **legacy**!" _ He cried, snatching another letter from the table- more anger bubbling to the surface.

_  
"Your sentences boarder on **senseless**!" _ He took another, holding both in his hands; watching them shake.

_  
"And you are **paranoid** in __every_ _paragraph-! How they **perceive** you-" _ he paused, looking at one letter to the other, then held them to his chest; more tears slipping from his eyes.

_  
"You, you, **you**...."_

  
The light from the fireplace flickered, the flame now low from the lack of fuel. Without realizing it, he slipped to his knees. Doubling over as he sobbed quietly to himself, letters gripped in his hand tightly.

  
Finally, the sobs stopped, and Alex took a breath before continuing on, very softly.

_  
"I'm **erasing** myself from the narrative..."_

  
He paused, standing on one knee and casting the letters aside. Glancing at his desk which lied his pens and pencils of various kinds, dread setting in his stomach.

_  
"Let future historians wonder, how Alexander reacted, when you **broke** his heart-" _ he sneered bitterly, eyes down cast and dark. Fire raging silently- ready to sweep across the entire house.

**_  
"You have torn it all apart-!"_** He cried, grabbing another letter self-consciously and ripping it into two.

_  
"I am watching it-"_ he held said letter to the dying flame, watching it consume the paper and scar the words written.

  
" ** _Burn_**."

  
" _Watching_ _it_ _**burn**_." He shot up from his kneeling position, heading for the desk nearby and sweeping the contents of Thomas's books and letters onto the floor."

**_  
"The world has no right to my heart! The world has no place in our bed!" _**One by one he flung the books and pencils into the fire.

**_  
"They don’t get to know what I said_**!" Alexander even grabbed his own letters that Thomas had kept and ripped them to shreds, flinging them into the fire right after Thomas' own letters.

**_  
"I’m burning the memories; burning the letters that might have redeemed you!_**" He growled, standing up to his full height and grabbing a picture frame from the shelf.

  
It was him and Thomas.

  
" ** _You forfeit all rights to my heart!!_**" Without a second thought, he grabbed the picture from the frame and ripped it in two, taking Thomas' side and tossing it into the flame.

  
" ** _You forfeit the place in our bed– You sleep in your office instead!_** " He cried, tears streaked down his face in fat, warm, streaks.

  
" ** _With only the memories of when you were mine_**!" He yanked the golden band from his ring finger off and held it up, the fire making it gleam and shine.

  
" _I hope that you...._" he tossed the ring into the fire, looking onto it as it crackled at snapped with dark, unforgiving eyes.

 

  
" ** _Burn_**...."

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want, I might make a Stay Alive Reprise and a It's Quiet Uptown if you enjoy this! Comments are appreciated even though i don't answer! I read every single one!!


End file.
